I’ve heard that mindfulness meditation can help improve sex – what is it and how might it help me?

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment, and doing so with non-judgement and acceptance. If you find you have difficulty paying attention to sex, getting distracted with other things, or having lots of anxious thoughts, learning mindfulness can help. It can also help to be more aware of and connected to your body including experiences of sexual arousal, enhancing pleasure and managing pain. It can also help you pay attention to your experiences and any thoughts you might have by cultivating an attitude of curiosity and gentleness towards yourself and others, rather than one of judgement and dissatisfaction.

Mindfulness practice helps train you to better be able to stay present and do so in an accepting and non-critical, so that you are open to whatever is happening, however it may be happening and that it is not something distressing that you are struggling with and trying to change. Lots of people have difficulty paying attention to sex, with so many other demands on our lives, it can be difficult to slow down, relax and pay attention to the act of sex. For example, it’s normal to have other thoughts pop in your mind during sex, but if you find you keep going down the rabbit hole of your thinking back you have difficulty staying in the present and focusing on sexual activity and what’s happening in your body, you’re not alone. Mindfulness meditation can help trained your brain to stay focused and respond quicker to mind wandering by bringing your attention back to the present moment more quickly.

Here are few things you might try:

·      When you notice you’ve become distracted, bring your attention back to touch - what are you touching right now, or where are you being touched? What does it feel like?

·      When you notice a thought unrelated to your sexual activity, try saying to yourself, it’s just a thought, I can come back to it later if I choose. By reminding yourself - what am I doing right now – you can stay more in the present moment.

·      If “being present in your body” feels overwhelming for you, try paying attention to your partner’s body – the smell of their skin, shampoo or deodorant, the softness or texture of their skin, their heartbeat or the pace of their breathing.

Interested in learning more about how mindfulness can make for better sex? Dr. Walker runs a regular group offering for women with sexual concerns, to learn the skills of mindfulness and how to apply them to sexuality.

https://www.drlaurenwalker.com/better-sex

Disclaimer: The content offered in this blog is the content of Dr. Lauren Walker. Answers to questions are not exhaustive and are offered as potential ideas to begin to address sexual questions and concerns. The answers are not meant to replace medical advice or psychotherapy, and are included for educational and entertainment purposes.